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The Journey of Will is a blog And about romance and dating, fulfillment and self-discovery, philosophy and human development. I'm a straight male dom; this is what I've learned on my journey.

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This article sat in the drafts folder for weeks; I found it hard to finish. It forced me to reflect on some things I'm single, and dislike being so — I'm a better, more effective man when I have a committed partner. I Howw do kink casually, so being single means my dom side gets almost no love.

Pondering my search is dispiriting, as it's a process that has no clear calendar. And it troubles me to wonder, after talking with a lot of kinky girls over the past few years, whether the girl I'm seeking even exists.

I'm a tall order to fill, no question, but if I don't admire a girl in multiple ways, I wouldn't want to acquire. But here it is at last, written for myself as much as for you. I've tried to highlight generally valuable qualities in a submissivw partner, and deemphasize things which are singular to me.

BDSM: Things You Need to Know: What I Look For in a Submissive Partner

Possesses a strong. Wants kink for the way it makes her feel. Doing it "for his sake" may seem like a submissive attitude, but activities which are not rewarding to her, either during or afterwards, are ultimately depleting and unsustainable.

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Shares a few significant, non-kinky passions with her partner. For example, I go partner Hey sexy ladies twice a week, and if my girl wasn't into that, I'd feel like she didn't How to know if you are submissive know me.

Attentive and curious. These are essential for a submissive partner, since she has to learn to read her dom, and to respond to his needs or goals in any situation where they've agreed she will submit. Desires and acts on feedback.

A dom may wish his girl to adjust her How to know if you are submissive in ways small and large over time. When I offer input, I want to hear, "Got it, thanks for telling me!

I, for one, need to hear that my partner appreciates me, believes in me, feels blessed by my company and all it entails. Such knoow can help assuage occasional "dom's guilt". Strong emotional boundaries.

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She's not easily offended or triggered or manipulated. What others may say to her won't knock her off-kilter or lodge in her self-perception.

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It's important to hold boundaries with family, colleagues, friends, and one's lover. This has been a challenge for many of the women I've dated, both vanilla and kinky, submissivve thus something Submisive come to expect to help a How to know if you are submissive. But an emotionally healthy girl will have some inkling of her abilities and gifts, even if she has sub,issive about them in some contexts. Communicates rationally when under stress.

The ability to hold oneself together when stressed out or upset is invaluable. Of course, there are limits to how much duress anyone can withstand before they shut down or lash.

Loves How to know if you are submissive and is addicted to it. A big mind is a huge asset; I'd be bored by a girl who didn't Beautiful black girl new knowledge and share parts of it with me. In doing so, she enriches my understanding of her, the world, and.

Enjoys some kind of challenging physical activity. Moving keeps her in touch with her body — a big part of the brain is devoted to the body after all.

The practice could be dance, hiking, running, a gym circuit, ultimate frisbee, yoga, tai chi, gardening; the list is endless. It needn't be mindless exercise for its own sake. This is essential in today's food market, because competition has steadily driven vendors to offer huge portions of addictive foods at bargain prices. A healthy diet is high in lean protein and very low in sweets.

Am I a dominant lover, a submissive lover, a lazy lover, a kinky lover, an adventurous lover? So how do you know if you are sexually submissive? Don't . This Quiz Will Reveal What % Dominant And Submissive You Are During Sex When you answer one question, the next will appear. I'm a tall order to fill, no question, but if I don't admire a girl in multiple These are essential for a submissive partner, since she has to learn to.

Not preoccupied with consumptive activities. I find that undertaking challenging, creative projects together, whether out in the world or at home, is more bonding than ordinary entertainments like shopping, dining out, traveling, and the theater. Willing to push back when wise. Any dom needs a reality check from time to time.

If he suggests something foolish, or is about to dive into some chasm, he'll benefit if she pipes up. Doesn't set arbitrary limits.

Claiming some kinky thing is a "limit" without reason — other than "ew! That's not to say that a sub should say yes to something out-there early in the relationship. Single seeking sex visalia activities need a strong container, which takes time to build.

Aligned ambitions. Some doms How to know if you are submissive it when a sub has responsibility and authority at work; they may not be compatible with a sub who's less Need girl north stonington to fuck in career progress. Note that the above characteristics do not create rapport with someone, in and of themselves.

Chemistry counts for a lot — although having it cannot compensate for the lack of must-have features. I'm somewhat introverted, and have had both introverted and extroverted partners. Both have enriched me. I would only suggest that a personality that hates crowds should not be paired with one that only thrives as a social butterfly.

Enjoys pain or humiliation. Many subs don't enjoy pain for its own sake, yet still gladly endure How to know if you are submissive, and eventually come to crave it, as a service to the dom. Others do relish certain kinds of pain, however there's always methods a sadistic dom can apply to cause distress in a sub who usually gets off on pain.

Labels: datingrelationships. Isn't it funny how life is Finding that special person is hard.

I am married. I starting to find BDSM quite interesting but never done it before but people are giving me hints I How to know if you are submissive like it? So I have been reading online about it I don't think it is tall order of your wishes If I was looking for a mate I will Need submissive older women buffalo ny the same way.

I agree with you on on some points and for other points I don't know about BDSM that well so I can't be a judge of that. Just keep yourself busy in the meantime. She will come. I enjoyed reading your posts these past 2 or 3 weeks. I just came upon it 2 weeks or 3 weeks ago. Annie NJ. Over many years I have gone back and forth with whether or not I should try How to know if you are submissive find a Dom. I am taking the steps now, but don't know what steps I actually should.

I'm not dating or married currently. It's not easy finding your mate. I know that first hand. Is it any easier finding a Dom?

How to know if you are submissive

I have a lot of questions all mixed in a ball of fear, excitement and anticipation. I'm in NY and they say NY has everything which makes finding things a little harder. I'd love to talk with you if you are willing to mentor me and offer some suggestions. Just let me know.

Am I a dominant lover, a submissive lover, a lazy lover, a kinky lover, an adventurous lover? So how do you know if you are sexually submissive? Don't . I'm a tall order to fill, no question, but if I don't admire a girl in multiple These are essential for a submissive partner, since she has to learn to. This means that if someone's feelings changed you can easily notice the Right before a fight the guy who gets into the state of submissiveness is the one Look at the context of the situation and not just the gestures in order to understand.

I am following your blog now and How to know if you are submissive forward to reading. Thanks J. But I do think that NY would be a submissivd place to look. Hi, Will, I'm trying to Milf sex onalaska your blog about being unhappily single. I cannot understand why men out here in our age group don't want anything with us. I have been flirting onow the idea of being a sub, because I enjoy being bossed around, and even hurt a little, sexually.

Using body language to show dominance and submissiveness

The thing is I have no idea how to find someone who would be my "dom" where I live. I am How to know if you are submissive in a sexual relationship with someone with dominant traits, which is probably why I like this man so much, but it is not serious or exclusive so I don't feel like I could talk to him about this just yet.

I would describe myself as everything you wrote here so I think I have a lot to offer, and I really want to see how much I would enjoy this type of relationship, it's not something I want to forget about or put in the back of my head without at least How to know if you are submissive.

I guess we'll have to see what happens, loved your blog, btw! I don't think a relationship has to be serious or exclusive for you to bring up your interests, desires, fantasies. If you're able to talk about yourself with him at all, why not talk about your kinks? You don't have to unload everything that's whirling in your head at once, just pick a topic you think would resonate -- perhaps bondage, or spanking, or even "I Can a bad marriage cause depression it when you boss me.

If you wade into the kinky dating waters, see my answer above with links to other articles here on that topic.